I want to remember

Haddie and I hit the local shopping mall today. I had a gift card that has been burning alongside my desk that was just screaming to be used. Today felt like a good day to do just that.

These are the days I don't want to forget the memories of Haddie. Gone are the days of consistent blogging when I would share all the details of my socializing of Haddie. All the newness, the quirks, the bravo's, all of that. Now, she is consistent except for an occasional story.

But today, I don't want to forget the ordinary. The days that are just Haddie being Haddie.

I want to remember the days when she hops out of the back of our Red Toyota with her blonde furry hair remaining littered on the black rubber floor mat. How the Red from our car works so nicely with her coloring. How the sun streaks across Haddie and she can instantly turn from a light shade of yellow, to a Strawberry blonde.

I want to remember the ordinary where we would shop the clothing aisles and she would look up from her Blue Gentle Leader and stare at me like a Teen that has an opinion. Those brown eyes just starring, willing her way into my blue CCI fanny pack that holds the reward of her successes.

I want to remember how Haddie loves to nuzzle up against my leg - cute - but inappropriate because what she is really trying to do is get that Gentle Leader off her nose. Still. Going on Nineteen months and she still would prefer a way to get that thing off. She doesn't fight it like her baby years, but nonetheless a few nudges right at the sweet spot communicates; o.f.f.

I want to remember Haddie sneaking her way too close to the clothes rack, and getting her head under a few arm lengths of sweaters hanging. Her head popping out with those sweet eyebrows peaked as if to say, "Can you find me?". Yes, Haddie, I still see you, and it'd be best if your sweet yellow fur does not remain on that expensive sweater I have no intention of buying.

I want to remember how quickly her tail wags when anyone mentions anything about her. I know she knows English. She senses the tone of everyone's voice when they talk about her. She knows she is adorable.

I want to remember how she prances when she is proud of her accomplishments, or when it is time to move on to our next adventure. She picks up her pace with a wiggling-behind as her head moves up to look at me, then forward, then back at me, then forward, then back at me, and so forth. Always checking in, always moving forward, always with a swag tempo in her tail.

I want to remember when I stop moving, she stops moving. When I stand in line, she will sit and stare at me. Stare. At. Me. until I give her the okay that we can move forward. So smart. So gentle. Eyes that see deep into my core, and melt me every time.

I pray she brings out all of these good things in California. That she doesn't forget, or isn't nervous to show them all her good stuff. That she just brings it all - and we'll see what they say, and be okay with any result. I just want her to be herself - the self that I have grown to love every day for the past seventeen months.

Love you, Haddie Rosa!!!